That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Dick very happy bro
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize