JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize