im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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