He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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