Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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