Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Sober January is a disaster.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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