i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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