Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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