Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
