I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
