yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
