Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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