Ambien. No doubt about it.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
