I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
