I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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