I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
