so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
