the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
