so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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