How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
