I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
