his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
