I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize