why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
