Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
