oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
