I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
