OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
