He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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