Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
