just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize