i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
