Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So much Jack, so little girl.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
