that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
ok first of all what the fuck
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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