She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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