he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
