If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
