is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
