Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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