So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Randomize
