i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
