My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
