Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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