Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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