After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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