it wasn't lemon gatorade
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
