What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We are all done wearing pants today
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
