This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Randomize
