I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize