so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
