i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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