He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize