Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
