i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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