yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
