Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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