is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize
