What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
