i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
