Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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