I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
