he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
