I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
