just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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