i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
