I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
