to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
