I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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