things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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