He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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