that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
