Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
