I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
