I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
