I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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